A Russian's Mind

After the war was over and the wounds of the wounded bots were healed, the Autobots decided to celebrate their victory in hand with the humans outside in the open on the N.E.S.T base. But I didn't attend; it wouldn't be such matter because someone stronger will rise to take the place of the fallen Decepticon leader, Megatron. I was surprised Optimus was having fun with his sparkmate, Causeway, and his sparkling, Snowdew. Snowdew, my fellow companion that I trained since she was little was now fully grown to go on her own capabilities.

Every Autobot I knew was talking and laughing at jokes they made, I smiled and laughed a little with Jazz jumping on Dino's back. Those two were always such morons, but not as stupid as the twins. Jazz and Dino you would say, was like bonded brothers, but they weren't actually related. They were just strong in their bond as brothers and see each other like best buddies, or brothers. Ironhide and Ratchet was the pair of old bots along side with Optimus Prime, Causeway, and I. While the rest were young bots: Jazz, Sideswipe, Dino, Snowdew, Bumblebee, Jolt, and the twins. So young, so vulnerable, but still they stand strong for what they fought for.

I was the oldest out them all; surviving since Cybertron was first made was a long long time ago. I can even still remember all that passed through my life. Somehow, I knew it was time for a long meditation again…a very long one. My mind was old and it was starting to become stressful, only meditation can it make relaxed and focused. I didn't want to leave the Autobots, or Snowdew, this was awful…very. How could I leave them at a time like this? All of them…were having fun. Looking from the side window, they probably don't notice I'm gone…it's okay though. I'm fine to be alone if I just focus. Sitting down on the pavement and closing my optics, blocking out the sounds around me and focusing on the blackness of my optics. I slowly started to feel my conscious going to my subconscious. Opening my optics to see a different world around me now…

It looked peaceful and loving, no cons, no action…it was perfectly normal. I knew that this was peaceful place that my old master told me once if I grew old, I would go to this peaceful place I call to focus on and rejuvenate my mind. But, then I opened my real optics of the real world and stood up quickly. Moving my helm towards the window and saw the Autobots doing the same steps of dancing, though Optimus and the other old bots were watching; I smirked to see that Snowdew was the only femme there dancing with the young mechs. She looked magnificent out there with the full moon glowing brighter than any other night. Slowly and gracefully, her movements were swift and bold. Looking like a dancing, glow stick that could attract bugs/mechs. I laughed just thinking about Dino, wondering what he could say right now.

'She is looking like a star right now, very pretty. I just want to hug her.' His thoughts were loud enough to hear, but what could I say? I was right…I've been around too long just to see that mechs are interested in femmes when they see something exciting. I just hope Optimus don't find out soon that Dino and Snowdew are like a growing couple, growing closer and closer each time until Snowdew is fully mature to bond.

Just looking at the young and old bots that were younger than me made me realize, how could I survived the war for such a long time with no cons killing me? Just thinking about it makes me heave a sigh and says, "Bah, they were just not expecting a fearsome opponent." But, it wasn't true. I was mad and angry that Decepticons could do such a thing to the life forms; it wasn't fair at all. Not the way I see it.  I thought differently back then, but now my opinions were soon changing.

When I think about spark mates and their love ones, I think about my spark mate I haven't seen in millennia. My thoughts about him are strong and bold, that I wish to see him again. Vector Prime was his name, I'm not sure if he is alive anymore after all of this time. I couldn't think negative; I had to know he was still alive. This was another reason why I want to leave, so I can find him and return him home with me. It wasn't fair for everyone to enjoy their lives with the ones they love, I know they love me, but their love is not enough for me. Only his love is enough for me; I wish to be in his strong arms again. Oh the sensation feeling from him, that is something I miss so much in the past.

I saw Adrie looking around for me that I read her thoughts. I know she misses so much that the other Autobots didn't know; I didn't want her to know that I disappear from her and the family. But deep inside, my mind and spark is slowly dying of loneliness and an old age. My purple optics saddens as she came closer to the hanger that I left myself in; I stood up slowly on my two feet and saw her walking in from the human size door. As she walked in fully, I saw her looking at me with a sad look. Wondering why I wasn't out there with the others and not having a good time.

"Arrows…why aren't you out there with the other Autobots? I mean, this is a lifetime event that we all have been waiting for after the war---"

"It's not over Adriana. Not to my standards," I interrupted and sighed heavily. "Someone will take over that will be stronger than Megatron…"

Adriana flinched as she heard the anger in my voice; she brought her hands close to her chest and steps forward. "Why do you say that Arrows?"

I looked away from the brunette girl and sighed heavily, my optics looked out the window and seeing the Autobots dancing and talking. After a few minutes past, I turn my glance to her and lower my helm. "Evil never stops in one place; it never does and never will. I learned so much in the past, my thoughts are never stopping doubting or reckoning about the world today and million years ago."

"But you know the Decepticons are gone, leaderless and scattered around the world. I mean you should know Arrows." Adriana said to me.

"It's more than you know Adrie…I believe I'm thoughtless, old, and jealous."

"Jealous? How can you be jealous Arrows? What is there to be jealous of?"

I was speechless, no words to say. I didn't know what to say; I knew she would understand if I told her anyway. "I-I'm just jealous because I don't have my bonded mate with me."

"You have a bonded mate? Why did you never tell us, we would have helped you to find him?"

"Adriana…millions of years past; I don't think we will ever find him. But I always thought to myself never think negative," I paused. "Another thing, thinking about time; Adriana…I have to leave Earth."

"Wh-why? Why do you have to leave? Like right now or tomorrow?"

"Probably tomorrow, but the reason why I'm leaving that my mind is growing old. I have to rejuvenate my mind to a younger stage by meditating in a quiet, non living place. Only my focus then will help me to be younger again and I can find all of the answer to my question about my spark mate. If I don't meditate, my mind will die along with my whole body." I explained fully with no hesitate.

We both stand quiet for a few minutes probably even more, then we heard the Autobots yelling in victory. I glanced out the window and saw Optimus raising his right hand towards the full moon. "Tonight, we shall celebrate our victory under the great full moon of this beautiful planet. This planet Earth will be our new home to protect. Till all are one!"

All them yelled in unison together showing their great happiness and pride in their tone, but I only sadden with my optics looking down to the darkness that I've kept myself in. Slowly I raised my hand over my chest plates and sighed deeply. "I wish I was still meditating." I said to myself sadly and sighed deeply.

"Arrows, is your mind really slowly dying? I don't want you to die." Adriana said.

I glanced down to Adriana and kneel down.  As I put my face close to hers, she hugged my face tightly and sniffles. "Yes, its slowly dying…I have to leave as soon as possible Adriana. Tomorrow I will depart from Earth to go to a quiet rotation of gravity. Let's just enjoy our time right now shall we young one?" I said, smiling softly to her.

I saw Adriana nodding in agreement and smile warmly. "Come on Arrows, I will walk outside with you. I won't let you walk alone anymore."

Only thing I could do was smile and stand up on my two feet. As she opened the human door, she opens the hanger door. I stepped outside slowly, looking around for the Autobots and N.E.S.T operatives. But I saw Adriana walking to the left of the hanger where I could hear the noise in the distance; I followed and saw the Autobots standing around just talking in happiness.  The humans I could see, they were in groups of probably between to 3 to 5 people.

Adriana ran ahead of me and went up to Lennox, letting him know to keep the party up longer. "She had had to recharge, she said she wasn't feeling well."

I laughed to myself knowing that Adriana was a good fibber, but I didn't say anything. "Oh yes, I'm feeling better now. Thanks to a good recharge."

Lennox huffed a little and looks at me. "Alright then…"

I looked up and saw Snowdew walking over to me and giving me a tight hug. "Glad to have you here Arrows didn't want you to miss the whole party." She said smiling.

I could only chuckle happy and nods. "Yes, I didn't want to miss the whole thing."